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These are some of my favorite novels, and their incredible first lines:

“WELCOME TO MERRYWEATHER HIGH. It is my first morning of high school. I have seven new notebooks, a skirt I hate, and a stomachache.”

• Laurie Halse Anderson, SPEAK

“I had the story, bit by bit, from various people, and, as generally happens in such cases, each time it was a different story.”

• Edith Wharton, ETHAN FROME

“There was a hand in the darkness, and it held a knife.”

• Neil Gaman, THE GRAVEYARD BOOK

“There is no lake at Camp Green Lake.”

• Louis Sachar, HOLES

“Where’s Papa going with that ax?”

• E.B. White, CHARLOTTE’S WEB

“Hello. I am Ivan. I am a gorilla.  It’s not as easy as it looks.”

• Katherine Applegate, THE ONE AND ONLY IVAN

“Today I moved to a twelve-acre rock covered with cement, topped with bird turd and surrounded by water.”

• Jennifer Choldenko, AL CAPONE DOES MY SHIRTS

“He’d stopped trying to bring her back. She only came back when she felt like it, in dreams and lies and broken-down déjà vu.”

• Rainbow Rowell, ELEANOR AND PARK

When my kids were growing up, one of our favorite stories-on-tape was the hysterical series, Hank the Cowdog, by John R. Erickson, featuring Hank, the King of Malapropisms and head of security on a Texas ranch, and his sidekick, whiney Drover. I highly recommend the entire series for all extended car rides.  

“When a dog beings making those ‘ump’ sounds, it’s usually too late to put the toothpaste back in the frying pan.” Hank the Cowdog

“Don’t take anything for granite. That’s what tombstones are made of.” Hank the Cowdog

“The element of surprise can be very surprising when the other guy uses it first.” Hank the Cowdog

Hank: “They’ll still be laughing when the snow flies.”

Drover: “Yeah, they’ve been pretty bad this year.”

Hank: “What?”

Drover: “The flies, they’re really bad this year. See, I just got one!”

“It has always struck me as one of Life’s great mysteries that Sally May doesn’t appreciate us licking her ankles.” Hank the Cowdog

The great Muhammad Ali (1947-2016) knew how to turn a phrase, as agile a wordsmith as he was in the ring. I love his clarity and his wry humor.

“I should be a postage stamp. That’s the only way I’ll ever get licked.”  

“If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, they can sure make something out of you.”  

“It isn’t the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it’s the pebble in your shoe.” 

“Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth.” This one I find especially powerful.